Published on July 10th, 2013 | by Nicole Jekich
Top 5 Worst Monopoly Reskins
Due to the popularity of “Top 5 Licenses That Deserve a Board Game”, I thought I would bring up more licenses which also desperately need a board game but that have the unfortunate legacy of having a Monopoly game in their name. There are more than 100 Monopoly board games out there but here are a few that I believe are the biggest travesties.
1. Adventure Time:
I have no other words except for: “Whyyyy??!!” The game needed for this lovably nostalgic cartoon is in the title-ADVENTURE. The awesomeness that is Finn and Jake should not be constrained to the rules-heavy, lack-of-imagination that is Monopoly. I don’t want to pay rent or own the Candy Kingdom or Ice Kingdom, I want to explore those places and fight monsters, discover epic treasure and make friends. There shouldn’t be a mortgage value and deed to Finn and Jake’s Treehouse. What are we teaching kids? “Even in your imagination, Billy, you will have to worry about taxes,” and “You will have to rent your friends such as Lady Rainicorn like you would property.”
2. Marvel Comics:
I’ve read my fair share of comics and I can’t recall a time that the heroes were ever concerned with owning and maintaining property. I am pretty sure superheroes are made to dispense justice in an unjust world, which usually comes with plenty of property damage that Monopoly couldn’t handle. What should you play instead? Any Marvel video game or Heroclix. I am aware of Legendary: Marvel Deck Building Game; however this game is made by Upper Deck who is notorious for making poor card games and the authors at Across the Board Games who have an opinion agree that if you need your superhero deck building fix, you should play the DC Comics Deck Building Game by Cryptozoic instead. It is too obvious that Marvel deserves a game where their list of characters battle their infamous villains. A better game yet would let players play as Marvel Villains!
3. The Nightmare Before Christmas:
This license as a Monopoly game probably isn’t going to upset anyone except people of my generation. This is a favorite childhood movie for people my age, even though I found this movie to be playfully scary as child. I think it is even more terrifying as a Monopoly product. I think that The Nightmare Before Christmas would make a wonderful introduction to horror games for kids without the chain saws, gore and constant onslaught of zombies. Instead, players could outwit Ooogie Boogie, deliver the correct presents to each child and rescue Santa Claus to save Christmas and Halloween Town.
4. My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic:
Must… resist… spending $40 on a game I dislike just for the figures. Luke and I are total My Little Pony fans and in case that needs further proof you are welcome to ask Luke about his Magic the Gathering “Friendship is Magic” Commander deck. My Little Pony is a franchise that totally belongs in “Top 5 Licenses that Deserve a Board Game” post. The characters are unique; the world is fantastic and episodes are thoughtful and enjoyable by adults as well as children. The rabid fandom and availability of disposable income that fans spend on this franchise would make any branded game a cash cow. This Monopoly version is still in the pre-order phase, but I am confident that with the surge of popularity will bring plenty of more games to the pony-consumption market.
5. New Vegas:
I am not upset that Monopoly did a Las Vegas version. Buying property to build ever larger and fancy casinos is a theme that actually makes a lot of sense. Making a board game combining the Vegas and Monopoly is a no-brainer. Where my frustration comes in is realizing that Hasbro/Parker Brothers missed a beautiful opportunity to choose a better cityopoly- Fallout: New Vegas. Though Monopoly still wouldn’t be able to handle everything a Fallout game does because it would be too simple! Fallout: New Vegas deserves a large-boxed resource management game where players also try to gain favor with factions. That sounds like a much better way to spend 4 hours.
Everyone should now know that Monopoly is NOT the answer to bringing a franchise to the board game world. I don’t mind re-skinning games as we do that all the time here at Across the Board Games, but I want those games to be good games and a game that best represents that license or genre. Being a dedicated fan of Game of Thrones, Adventure Time or even something as large as Marvel Comics doesn’t mean us fans have to blindly buy crappy games just because we love the license so much. There are plenty of better board and card game options out there!